The Impact of a Good Day
I believe that we learn as much as we are open to- good days or bad. But this morning I had a good day that impacted the way I see a lot of things. One very important revelation was totally unrelated to horses.
Today was ride #2 out to the local trail head. Well, it was hand-walk #2 :~)
We started the day by warming up in the arena… nice forward walking. A little bit of leg for steering (a concept which he still hasn’t mastered and isn’t quite sure if he should be going faster or moving over). Thanks to a suggestion from a friend, I did a few patterns for him to focus on that I could repeat at the trail head. We did a few walk trot transitions with hardly any trotting, trying to keep this old guy sound, lol.
Once he felt nice and warm, I got off and we walked out to the trail head. Past a llama that galloped after us, past the goats, past the barking dogs and calling horses. Through the gates and he made it all the way, calmly, like he’d done it more than once.
On the other side of the final gate, I checked the girth and hopped on. No dancing. No prancing. No evading. He just stood there, quiet and ready. Oh be still my heart!
I praised him and rubbed him and let him stand. Then I asked for some forward and we started right in with the same patterns we’d done in the arena… walk forward on a circle, whoa, back, pivot, whoa. Praise. Start again.
He exceeded my expectations. My plan was that if he would go through the pattern calmly, I would reward him by quitting. He worked calmly, relaxed and on a loose rein while we were facing away from home. Facing toward home a few times he thought about trotting, was a little rushed and I had to have more contact with his face than I’d like.
But every time I asked for a whoa I got it. And every time he stopped, he backed right up. And best of all, most of our stops he was able to stand still for a few seconds. I didn’t look at my watch, but there’s no way it took longer than 7-10 minutes. And the first time that he worked on a loose-ish rein as we were facing home, I kept my promise and quit.
We did go for a walk down the trail for a little ways and when he had a big forward walk, I walked a small-ish circle and we headed home. He walked nice and easy all the way back. I think I’ll walk him home from the trail head gates to the barn every time for a good long while to instill the “we walk nice and easy” concept solidly before I ride back.
I was floating on a cloud and grinning on the walk back! And by now the neighbors must have figured out that I hold full on conversations with my horse, lol. I am SO looking forward to our next ride- probably on Monday. Plan for Monday is the same basic plan, but I’d like to be able to work in a larger area (arena size compared to round pen size). And I’d like to head out on at least 2 of the trails, turn around and ride back on a loose rein several times.
I think once we have that mastered, we’ll have a nice solid foundation and be ready to venture out with me in the saddle. Though I think I will try to still get lots of walking in- I feel really good about the exercise that I’m getting with the extra walking… I may just ride out and walk back on our first few trail rides. I feel kind of funny walking my horse, but my legs sure feel great after a nice up hill walk!
So as I floated and grinned on my drive home I had a profound moment. Nez has taught me that I don’t just want a compliant horse… I want a horse that trusts me, communicates with me and ultimately does what I need him to do. Even if it’s not his favorite thing, but not because he has no other choice. When I first brought him home, he would do whatever I asked. As he trembled. It took a lot of effort and time to teach him that it was o.k. to have an opinion that was different than mine. That I would not punish him for expressing himself. I had to find ways to help him understand appropriate ways of expressing his feelings and fears that would keep himself and people safe.
I am seeing the fruit of that now. In his confidence, in his boldness, in his expressiveness. I am seeing that because he knows if he is afraid then he has the option to move his feet, he doesn’t move far anymore :~) Where a “move of his feet” used to mean scrambling across the pasture, it now means shuffling backwards or sideways a few steps.
So as I grinned my way home and replayed it in my mind, it lead me to thinking about my kids… Sometimes they express their disagreement and opinions a little too strongly! Not quite appropriately… I can find myself easily frustrated with their outbursts. Wondering what I’ve done so wrong. Today I realized that it’s not about what I’ve done wrong- it’s about what I’ve done RIGHT. I have kids that are confident enough to disagree with me. To stand in the face of authority and express what they feel. Kids that, once they calm down, can be communicated with openly- kids that will listen and learn and ask questions. And ultimately, kids that will do the right thing in the end, even if they don’t feel like it.
Funny how I can be trying so hard to help my horse get to that place- and be happy with the little steps he offers in the right direction. And in contrast how my kids offer so MUCH and yet I find myself dissappointed. Wow. That all changed today. Thank you Lord for using my spotty old pony to teach me something so profound. And I’m sorry it took me so long to get it.