I’m having a great homeschooling & horsie day.

There is nothing better than having a horse see you coming, halter in hand and their eyes light up, low nickers rumble and they head straight for the gate.

Well, there is one thing better- kids that wake up and beg to get out their math :~)

Lot’s of people want that… Not everyone gets it.  And, of those of us who do, we surely don’t get it every day.

The question is, how do we spend more days with our students begging for another lesson?  How do we become the kind of teacher & leader that our children and horses WANT to follow and learn from?

How do get them to want to meet us at the gate?

I think a lot of it starts with a bribe.  Yep, I said it.  Right there in print for everyone to see.  Convict me now. 

There is nothing wrong with creating a pleasant association for horses or kids.  No, you don’t do it every day.  No you don’t treat your horse until they start nipping you when they’re around (or your kids for that matter!).  But a cookie never hurt anyone on the first day of class.  Makes ‘em think you might have something good to offer.  Lesson 1 learned- you DO have something good to offer.  It’s way bigger and better than a cookie, but they’ll find that out later.

I believe that most children and horses have a very high drive and desire to be a part of something.  They have a natural propensity to want to do what you’re doing.  They like to have a job, feel important and as though they have value.

So Lesson 2- give them a job.  A job in which they are capable of doing and doing well.  Do not ask your child to do math that is beyond their level or to read something you know they cannot.  It will create a disappointment that will squelch their desire to move forward.  They will feel bad about themselves and feel the “I can’t” creeping in.  Instead, help them to slowly build up their skill level and always asking them for what you know they are capable of.  Even if you know it’s something that is super easy for them, better to end the day on a good note.  They will feel as though “they can” and their confidence will build… Allowing them to grow in that area.

The same with your horse.  Don’t ask for something that they don’t yet understand or are not physically capable of doing.  Your horse will be frustrated and feel that they can’t do what you’re asking.  They will lose their desire to “try” for you.  They will lose confidence in themselves and in you.  Rather, help them to slowly build their skills and confidence, always asking them for what they are capable of.  They will learn to trust you and have faith that whatever you ask, they can do. 

Here’s an area that I think a lot of us homeschooling moms and horsie folks need to work on (myself included).  DON’T assign “busy work”. 

Sometimes, the first time that something is done right, it’s an accident.  The student (2 or 4 legged) doesn’t quite know what they did right, or how they did it.  But praise and QUIT anyway.  Yes, Lesson 3 is QUIT.  Right there at the kitchen table.  Right in the middle of the arena.  It’s ok.  I know a lot of us have been taught that once the student gets it right, then is the time to really hammer it home.  Repeat and practice until the concept is solid.

Crap I tell you.  Pure crap. (sorry for the salty language- blame it on the rugged cowgirl in me.)

The first time, quit.  Tell your kid, great job!  Let’s go play outside.  For your horse, get off, loosen the girth and rub ‘em in their favorite spot.  It’s ok that they don’t know exactly what or how.  The bigger thing is that they know they did it right once.  They can do it again. 

The next time you work on that concept, it may take a while.  Give it time. Take it slow, help them.   Watch the amount of try you get- especially knowing that the student knows they just have to get it right once and then they’ll be done!  That little fact will tend to bring out the biggest “try” in both children and equines. 

They’ll get it again.  Then quit.  Yep- 2 days back to back and you’re a big quitter every time they get it right.  It’s still ok.  There is plenty of time to practice and hone it in later.  

What you’re doing is NOT teaching them one concept. 

You’re teaching them how to learn something new in a pain free manner… a way in which they feel safe to try multiple things and get it wrong 50 times, always searching for the right answer.  Knowing they can trust that you’ll reward them when they finally get there.

Who wants to learn something new and try their heart out after they know that the reward for finally “getting it” is only going to be more work?  Not I.  Not my kids.  Not my horses. 

Now for me- I am a mediocre horseman on my best day.  I’m a mediocre mom too… There are plenty of folks I can point out that are better at both than I am.  I have figured out a few things though.  I think we all have.  And those 3 Lessons above, well they’ve paid off for me very well today.